Today a friend of mine brought to my attention an obituary in our local paper that made her chuckle. I did not know the woman who passed away, but I wish I had. I just used her initials, but the obit reads in part:
HB, 85, mother, nana, “collector of Knick-knacks”, holder of grudges, and forever vertically challenged, left this earth to reunite with her beloved husband, R on August 13, 2018. A master orator and skilled motivator using what she termed “nagging”, HB raised a slew of children and grandkids whom she noted were all fortunate enough to have inherited height from some “lucky schmuck”. HB was a devoted homemaker who would not hesitate to make you one of her gourmet meals like over-boiled hotdogs or TV dinner a’ la microwave. HB loved QVC, bragging about her grandkids, gossiping with friends, adopting EVERY stray cat in the neighborhood, and leaving Christmas decor up year-round so that she wouldn’t have to get on the step stool more than once. Her family will forever miss attempting to locate her in stores with tall racks, “butt dials” from her “new fangled” phone, and trying to carry on any discussion with her while”Family Feud” blared in the background. It is not lost on the family that her passing came shortly after HB’s repeated requests to clean the attic. HB has respectfully asked for no viewing as she didn’t want the general public to know she had “friggin’ wrinkles”.
At times of grief and loss, humor may not seem appropriate, but I had to comment on this obit. I’m left to wonder if HB herself authorized or worded the above in preparation for her own passing or if her family decided she would have wanted it written that way. In any case, it evoked a giggle from me when I read it.
In one of my journalism courses my freshman year in college, our assignment was to write our own obituaries. I was 18 and at the time and had myself dying at some ripe old age after having been one of the first pioneers to colonize Mars. My legacy, I wrote, was my “Little Planet in the Solar System” series of books. I was very original.
Obituaries can be so sad and somber, especially those of young people; “he would have graduated from high school this spring,” “she was planning her wedding for next June,” that sort of thing. But never have I read one that made me smile with amusement.
HB sounds like a well-loved lady and I’m kinda sorry I didn’t know her myself.